How to Shrug Off ‘Shoulds’ and Run Your Business on Your Own Terms

Perhaps you said yes to a project you didn’t really want, continued to offer a service you didn’t enjoy, or settled on a price that was much too low. Maybe you’ve been marketing your business a certain way or showing up on a social media platform you’d rather avoid, all because you feel like you should, and ‘shoulds’ can be hard to ignore.

You’re not alone. At some point on their journey, most business owners will make choices or set certain goals because they feel it’s what they should be doing. It’s an easy trap to fall into because carving your own path, building self-belief, and learning to trust your own instincts can be hard. However, these are skills that can be nurtured and developed.

Before we look at how to shrug them off, let’s explore where these ‘shoulds’ come from in the first place.

What are ‘Shoulds’ and Where Do they Come From?

‘Shoulds’ is the word I use to describe those external pressures that can leave us feeling inadequate or as if we’re failing as business owners and entrepreneurs. 

They can come from anywhere. You may have absorbed ‘shoulds’ from watching your parents as a child or through what you were taught at school. They might come from an earlier point in your career or certain experiences in the corporate world. 

It can also be as simple as watching other people in your industry do things differently. Before you know it, feelings of self-doubt creep in. ‘Should I be running my business the same way? I should, shouldn’t I?’ 

Why Do We Need to Be Wary of Them? 

Worrying about what you should be doing in your business but aren’t can be stressful. Feeling like this often comes from comparing ourselves to others and worrying we’re behind, less successful, or not working as hard. 

Equally, only focussing on tasks, projects and goals because you feel they’re what you should be doing can have a detrimental effect on your mental health. For our work to feel fulfilling, it needs to align with our personal goals and desires, not society’s expectations.   
Certain ‘shoulds’ can also lead to burnout. I should start earlier and finish later. I should be working harder. I should only take a break when I’ve earned it. ‘Shoulds’ like this exist to uphold certain social systems and structures like capitalism and the patriarchy. Not everyone benefits from these systems. In fact, they can do a lot of harm. 

How to Shrug Off ‘Shoulds’ and Run Your Business on Your Own Terms 

1.    Define Your Vision, Values and Goals 

The best way to shrug off ‘shoulds’ is to define your vision, values and goals for your business on your own terms. 
What do you want your life to look like? What personal values do you want to see reflected in your business? And what does success look like to you? Remember, your answers to these questions don’t need to be the same as anyone else’s. It’s time to figure out what you want. 

Once you’re clear about your vison, values and goals, you can filter any ‘shoulds’ through the framework they create. Ask yourself, will this move me closer to my vision? Does it align with my values? Will it help me achieve my goals? Or is it just something I feel I should be doing because everyone else is?

2.    Set Boundaries and Practice Saying No 

Setting boundaries and learning to say no are crucial for shrugging off ‘shoulds’. It’s unlikely you’ll eliminate them completely, they’ll always exist in some form, so you have to become better at staying true to your personal definition of success. 
When you run ‘shoulds’ through the framework you’ve created and find they don’t fit, the next step is sticking to your guns! Read What Are Professional Boundaries and Why Do You Need Them? for more on this subject.    

3.    Reframe What It Means to Do Things Differently

Not doing things we believe we should be doing often makes us feel inadequate. But what if doing things differently isn’t a bad thing? 
Maybe you’ve found a better way? Or just a way that works for you? Maybe your business is on a different timeline? Those ‘shoulds’ might make more sense in a few years, who knows?! Doing things differently could be how your business stands out. What if worrying about ‘shoulds’ means you’re missing opportunities to be innovative? 

4.    Banish Imposter Syndrome and Build Self-Belief

If you’re battling imposter syndrome and struggling with self-belief, you’ll be particularly susceptible to the pressure of ‘shoulds’. Overcoming these things will create a much stronger foundation for your business. Read How to Spot Imposter Syndrome and Overcoming Imposter Syndrome to discover my top tips. 

You Deserve to Thrive 

I can support you in shrugging off ‘shoulds’ and finding ways to run your business that make sense for you. Sometimes, the distance between your dreams and what’s needed to achieve them is difficult to navigate without someone else cheering you on.

Together, we’ll figure out what’s holding you back, create a plan, and find a way through. We’ll overcome challenges and break down barriers to success. We’ll ensure your overall health and wellbeing are your top priority, future-proofing your business for years to come. Learn more about 1:1 Business Coaching here or get in touch to discuss your options. I’ll look forward to hearing from you.